Yeah... its the time of the year... where we need to be corny and chee na... this year is an expensive festival to celebrate as the hotel requires us to wear cheong sum... Haiz... have to go buy due to I'm not that a back date person... Lucky I'm a very oriental person... so of cos the dress suites me damn well lor...

Heez... actually am here to write down my thoughts before I forget... Was having a casual chat with my new loner friend... and we started to talk about my story... he commented that actually she is a very nice lady that one will wanna take care of her for the rest of his life...

This make me thinks alot thou... Maybe there is something very wrong with me... Maybe from the start its already wrong... This thing is already very wrong... I'm just a loner... hoho...

Anyway... I'm already letting it go man... yeah... this will be a very good lesson to educate other peep as well... They are really very loving couple... Just lack a few bit from me... haha I'm just kidding... Hope they will last thou... ^_^ but lastly... I still can't forget hor...

Heez... hannar stop frowning my friend... I can foresee seeing a few peep frowning... I"m really ok... that's y I'm getting fatter and fatter... heez...

Alright... going for my last site inspection then i'm heading out with Tiffany for shopping spree... heez... Cheers!!

Haiz... when is my prince charming coming...

Am here... waiting for Emily's couple for food tasting...

Am here... reading back my blog out of boredom as YuYu block each and every access of entertainment... Good job Yuyu...

Am here...rekindle back the sorrows...

Am here... feeling unwanted again...

Am here... feeling alone...

Hmmm... What is get over... How does one person really get over... How shall one person get over... What can one person really get over... Yesterday Ricky ask me with them infront of me... Have you let go... The answer is so so predictable... Its "No" lor...

I'm lousy in this field... I really do not know how to play this game... Haiz... I laugh back when I'm writing my blog scolding myself... Think I'm some crazy old woman who keep talking to myself... Oh man... Pray to goddess I wanna have someone with me...

Criteria for my next someone... (I pen it down somewhat recently)
1) Must be 175cm and above.
2) Must be from lean to fit, no overweight although I'm fat.
3) Must be good in drawing.
4) Must be good in dancing. I'll drool if someone can breakdance.
5) Must be good in at least one instruments.
6) Must be Man but not chauvinistic.
7) Must be understand me.

Haha... Hur... Pray hard pray hard lor...

Feel I didn't cry in the longest time... Sudden have the urge to watch Love in the sky... Think this should be the english title...

This movie is the sadest movie that I have ever watch... No one has a more tragic story then this... This is my more than 10 times watching it and I'm still crying over it...

The joy... the happiness... the heartpain... the sorrow... all you can deeply feel it together with the show...

I bet I wont be that strong if I'm one of the character... Those who are not touch by this movie is indeed cold blooded... Think those rare species can jolly well stay at home and think about what you may have miss out in the past...

The scene that I always start to cry is the part when Mika realise that Hiro was fooling around and was hurt by it... However when she starts to move on with her life... she realise that Hiro is actually sick and have not much time left...

Right i heard that corny storyline... however the movie wont let you have this feeling... This is a must watch...

For those who haven't cry for the longest time and wanted to let out the water... Just watch it... Definitely you will love it...

Heez... alright think the promo is sufficient... shall not write more...

P/S: Live to the fullest... Everyday is a happening day...

Cheers!!!

Currently watching this show and it is in its 30-plus episode. This drama is a must watch that shows alot of greed and guilt the real bad side of a human being.

Its from snatching inheritant to snatching boyfriend. I'm really engross in this show, now its about Chang Zai Xin realise that Alfred's secret third party is her best of best fried, Shui Bai Bai...

Hmm... Can't really understand how human thinks, its not only guys but girls do that too just because of excitement. Then sore about the broken relationship, isn't it that they should already anticipate about it since they are playing with fire. The fire will burn the whole relationship down one day.

Oh didn't update my life here much... so let's do a two weeks thing altogether... Last last week, I had BBQ with Liwei Boonie and gang... with my darling Yanny as well. Its always nice to hang out with the old clicque reviving the old memories and discuss about the recent happening. We then did of course our late night blading. Did our blading til 1am in the morning. I actually follow the boys to the Bedok Jetty and had a great fall down the slop. Hah serve me right man, I'm too fast and too proud of myself. Had both my knees injured with bruises and cuts.

This week just yesterday, met up with Grace and Ricky. Went to watch Red Cliff, its a really nice show, it inspire me to play my Dynasty Warrior all over again. This Zhu Ge Liang is damn damn smart. He can really predict what enemies are actually plotting. However this movie don't stop here, there is a part 2 coming along with the grand finale fight.

Afterwhich, we sadistly watch the second movie Batman: The Dark Knight. We went to Beach road Shaw house instead. Its a very dark movie I must say, not really a movie that really boast Batman to the climax however it shows the dark and demoralise part of Batman. Hmm tragic hero I must say. Secondly, I must complaint about the cinema, its old school with small seats and weird arrangement for the drink holder. We really have to wiggle and reposition ourselves to sit "comfortably" after the move, we are already cramp and sore all over argh... not a very nice cinema to recommend.

Then we head down to Ms Clarity Cafe and had our bites and best of all, MY WARM CHOCOLATE CAKE. It is worth the sin.

Next week will be the athelete's meet. Gonna burn the track and take the number one position. We will see each other at the finals. So rest of the hotels, beware!!!

Alright folks have to pack up and meet my darling number XXX Shufen, gonna stay at rasa enjoy the sun and the sea!! hope they give me a nice room.

Cheers!!

Haven't blog for the longest time... Current location is in office, I'm incharge of wedding tonight at the Lawn Buffet style...

The last two weeks of my life have been fantastic... Went to Zouk with Amrit and gang to see Infected Mushrooms... Sure its packed man... They are so popular that we have to climb up the speaker to find space. It is that Jam pack... ^_^ alot of cute guys thou...

Sunday met up with Yanny and Karen... Went to Queensway for quick shopping... finally bought blade for myself... ^_^ I can fly without wings... heez...

Then busy with work all week long, trying to arrange meet up with Adeline Lorraine and also Yanny... but have to push away as I can't finish my work... this sucks man... really to the core...

Yesterday met up with Yanny Karen and her colleagues for blading session at East Coast Park... Sure its enjoying... I even have a great fall and scratch my fingers... haiz... how rackless can I be... heez... maybe I'll stop when one fine day I break either my hand or leg...

Was disucssing with Yanny for plans of vacation... wanting to go overseas so much especially Taiwan...

Currently very into this guy call Owo Dog from lollipop... his performance with his bboy clan is so awesome... they are the 2nd in the competition in Taipei... Should check him out man... some of his solo performance in Lollipop is also fantastic... He recently just got his champion in a drawing competition as well to design some front page i think...

Now my wishlist from now to next year... is to find a boyfriend that knows how to bboy and drawing... so mesmerize by him... *blush*

This week I'm really packed up so all of you can ask me for late night supper but not dinner...
Tomorrow is the start of my 3 days meeting event... followby a food tasting the next day... rest on friday and a wedding on Saturday... next Monday, need to attend Star 2 training with Kelvin and Fen... hope i do not need to come back like i do in Star 1... I think i'll just die...

Alright... shall not use so much time to blog... will penalize me and cut my pay... that's all folks...

I was watching some episode of this show with my brother... Not fantastic but simple and sweet...

It makes me wonder... love is just so simple... friendship is just so wonderful... and with close friends as close as sister is the best thing in the whole wide world...

Love from young teen although do not last for long... but they reason to love and not is just so simple and stright forward... Its so sweet to always watch drama with regards to high school...

Always wonder where my prince charming will be... It should be hiding in one of the rooftop somewhere... Haha...

^_^... Today is a tiring day... tomorrow I'm off but I needa go back to work cause the BEO for next Sunday is not out yet... >_< !! Yoga classes and maybe ktv after that... I can't believe that after all the running and exercising... I'm gaining 3 kg... This is a nightmare man... To consider Adeline commented I have slim down...

Oh considering joining back Studio Wu as they have one year free membership... but still discussing with Shu fen and Adeline... cause the time is really damn not fix with a burden of 10 site inspection every week... I'm near to staying back everyday for my site inspection man... My life is destine to work my ass off man...

Oh well... Saturday will be a busy day with half a day site inspection and wedding rehearsal... Rachel's son 1st Month celebration... Salooning with Shufen... and the best part is Zouk at night with Amreet and gang... Yeah!!! Can wear my pretty little dress there... Imagine I bump into the same couple... I'll probably tell them... "Hey... I met both of you... You were fucking in one corner at the dance floor last Sat too..." Hah... I bet they will be dumbfounded...

Hey... Ladies and gentleman... My friend told me this joke and I find it super duper funny... Just wrote it down... No time to repeat it over and over again...

One day Ming went to his mom complaining that his body is aching...
"Mom, my whole body hurts... I press here it hurts and here and here and here..."
The mom is so worries and brought him to the hospital... He told the same thing to the doctor, and the doc finds it serious as well. He did a whole body x ray for Ming to check for syndrome... Soon after the doc came back to them and said...
"Ming, you are not body aching.... You are... Finger injury.... heez...

Chinese version is funnier la... Haha... Hey who is still reading my blog ar... damn curious lez... leave your big name here lez... then I know... *bling off*

Yeah... I'm back again... realise that I have fans who like to read blog, not only mine but everyone's blog... *wink wink*

I should update my life abit after all the down spirit blog... I'm now doing aye ok... single still but who cares... I have great friends, sisters, brothers and family... I have make new friends here who are really there for me...

Working in events is really very stressful... It is a make it or break it job... Just last week I have events almost everyday and I screw up 2 big time... Although come right down is not my fault... However I represent the hotel thus the guest will still point fingure at who ever...

Oh let's talk about the juicy personal part of my recent development... I think that I have it over le... I'm really glad and have talk Emily and Shufen about it...

I have an event on Friday, which is the SAF... One of them have lost a hard disk with all the highly confidential information... Thus on Sunday, they came down to look for the DM on duty which is none other than Rohit...

He called me on that day to followup on the matter... Adeline is with me... when i left the phone... I look at her and said... OMG... my heart wont pump for him le... I wont feel the flush or excitment of hearing him anymore...

The next day monday, I saw him so I wanted to test again... went up to him and talk to him about the SAF founding... then i realise that I can look into his eyes and no hatred is there... hmm... Thanks for the busy job... I'm really not pounding at it after all...

However, I have wrote a nasty note to him before so I believe that we really can't be friends anymore le... even her... believe that she treat me well is out of goodwill...

Emily bday has just past... Had the celebration at Zouk... Wore my little cute dress... hoho... Should come spot me man... I, myself give myself a 10/10 heez...

Hur... din't take photo that night... Oh guess what Adeline and I saw at Phuture... we saw one couple fucking on the dance floor... That's very right... They are fucking in one corner with the zip all unzip... however whether the long bean goes in is another issue... we shall leave it for imagination...

Haiz... dun understand young people now... they can think of all sorts of weird places to do it... Dancefloor it is so open... Adeline and me is just right beside... We are both staring in curiosity... So please peeps... don't think that it is safe and crowded... someone will definitely spot on ya...

Yeah... its been awhile since I really sit down and write story and blog... I believe the last time is when I'm in Gallery Hotel... which is damn damn long ago... Oh... I'm an Aunt too man... My cousin-in-law just gave brith to a little boi... Branson Ong's the name... very charming little baby... you may spot him in Friendster... I have uploaded his photos there... Wonder when my 白马王子will appear... heez...

Next week is my grandchild bday as well... lukas... ^_^ so nice to have children around... This is very influential man... Sometimes it is so blissful that you wanna have it... Hmm... but first I needa search for my victim...

Opps... Its already 1710... gotta go pals... If I'm found blogging... I'll lose my hair...

Cheers!!!!!!!

I'm so fucking stress... I'm emotionally stress... I'm just fucking useless... and I'm fucking hating this kind of feeling... I can just throw to the dustbin and be wasted fuck...

it's been quite a period of time since i last wrote an entry.

"He" has been such a sweetheart, standing outside the my window, calling me at 12am sharp, with a bouquet of lilies in his hand.

"I want you to be the first to receive the flowers."
Such a simple statement, but evoking strong feelings from me.

Needless to say more, "he" is the best thing that has ever happened to him.
We didn't start of the relationship easy, but everything's taking off great now.
My family likes him. Even my "bao qing tian" dad talks and smiles at him.

Thank you for everything you've done and given to me.

I Love You.

Hmm... here to write out thoughts to clear my brian... the cells are fighting with each other... Just saw her profile on Friendster with latest update... went in to see out of curosity... I know I'll find out what I don't wanna see... But wtf I already see real life...

Althought both of them are still in Single mode... but there is more beyond the eye... I still don't know why I still not letting... Maybe I need to pack and go up the moutian for enlightenment... Ha... Really hate myself... Its been 8 moths yet it is still not ok...

But one thing for sure... I'm already letting go... I can't forget I can only accept and let go... The fact that all the reason of breaking up its just reason for escaping off me... Otherwise, he wont jump into her, when he said there wont be any future...

After that downpour that night... everything come so clear and so define... have pack up my feelings and head down the future by myself... I wanna be strong to face everything by myself... I can do it man... I dun wanna be taken as negative... Every course has its mean and reason...

I believe no matter if that breakup is out of self-fishness or really putting me in first place is not important anymore... At least that time he face his feeling truthfully and I am not the one... He didn't really treat me as his close friend thou so this I should already see it soon... However I always bluff myself and give him the benefits of the doubt... I've gaven hers too when Adeline reprimand me of thinking too much...

But all I have is "betrayal"... I know why he wanna say he don't wanna me to bear grudges going back... its not for him its for someone else... Saw their photo as well... she sent him off... thinking back din't have the privilege of doing so when with him...

Nevertheless... I have close chapter and move on with whoever have stand by my side and stay strong with me... I have the courage to move on... I do not know if I have the courage to really see them... otherwise I'll call them the other day... Still let's see the big day to come...

Hur... feel much better after all this... after all the complaining and tantrum and everything... I realise its only me that is so affected by it... Just me and myself only... Shall put it behind and move on... Seriously seeing it out of the box... No one is in the wrong... it just happen... its all about feeling... Even if I dont like the situation now... I hope she wont end up like me... and I hope he treats her well... I hope they will be happy... and this is what they really want...

Thanks for listening to old nanny stories... Its beeing 9 months already... times flies... I wish the day that I can look back and smile will come soon... I think I'm really recovery after so long... Thanks to all my ladies... my babes... my darlings... my dears... my sisters... and my brothers... my families... You Guys Rock To The Very Core... No worries about it man... Lynn is always so strong as ever... heez... will be cool cool and take it easy man... ^_^

Totally confuse...

Feel that double combo... I need my singlehood... He is not ur type... you should know he is like this... I wont be with him and I'll be prepared... She is not my type... Her mind is like in fairyland... I learn my lesson...

Rubbish... this is all rubbish... this is all fuck up man... What kind of rubbish is this... What kind of karma is this... I'm fuming like nobody business... I thought i can let go... seeing them in front of my eyes are killing me... I really feel like killing myself...

Argh... this is just my fuck up chapter... Seriously... after everything... I cannot do anything... I can't salvage anything... I can;t let go anything... howcome i'm always the one who have to follow the flow...

That's all I wanna vent... seriously now and all they should know what damage they have done... I'm finally admitting... The 3 of us... WE ARE FINALLY THROUGH...

Home is where everyone describes a warm and understanding feeling exist.
But it's not so for me.
I hate it.
I'm tired out from rushing all my coursework and projects and researching.
I don't get enough sleep.
My weight has went down significantly.
I'm struggling to float despite the weight pulling me downwards 24/7.
But she's not helping me.
In fact, all she ever does is nag at me, scream and find faults with me.
She even said I was using my final year project as an excuse of not spending time with the family.
You might be wondering why don't I explain to her my situation.
I tried, but it never works once.
She simply assumes that I am not as busy as I am.
She just wants things going smoothly in her own way.
And I'm her eyesore because I am always her "smooth-going obstacle".


She has been comparing my elder brother with me since young.
"Your gor gor ar, very smart, PLSE maths got A*, aggregate 247, get into 2nd choice: Nan Hua Secondary School."
"Your gor gor's O-Levels L1R5 got 10 points, get into SAJC."
"Your gor gor's A-Levels get 2As 1B."


"You ar, PSLE maths C. Cane and force you to practise Maths everyday, buy so many assessment books for you, still get a C out. Aggregrate 201. Just managed to scrap into express stream of Outram Secondary School, your last choice."
"Your O-Levels L1R5 15 points, go into 18th choice, SRJC. Sounds the same, but difference of A and J."
"Your A-Levels cannot even get into university, still need to retake again. You don't study lar! Only waste our money. Just go out and work."
"Huh? 2nd time retake A-Levels only get 1 A and 2Cs? Go into common engineering only. Your gor gor went into Computer Engineering."


And now that her Glorious Son, graduated without even an Merit, just a graduate with a Pass,
she now begins to find fault at me.
"Wahhhh.... someone so rich liao hor. Always get bursaries. From NTU, from AUPE, from A-Z organizations. Don't even give your parents money."
Bitch.
When I don't have enough money to eat, I had to dig into my savings.
Sometimes, I even have to go without meals.


My brother is staying in a room twice the size of mine.
He has a working aircon.
He doesn't have to sleep under clothes and undergarments hanging over his head, unlike me.
Why the different treatment?


I used to pressure myself to do better than my brother so as to win a praise of a word or two from her.
But reality hit me when I am in university.

Sometimes, her unreasonableness frustrates me to such an extent, I feel like slapping her to shut up.
Naturally I didn't.
Coz she's my mom.
And I don't want to be labelled as an unfilial kid.
But I'm reaching my limits soon.

Yayyy!!! I've got bursaries again!!! 2nd time in a row for the bursary from NTU and also bursaries from mommy's company. ^_^

Gonna save up this amount of money to go on a graduation tour with Hubby!!!

Today marks our 1st year anniversary. Celebrated on last Saturday. C0z we have quizzes tomorrow!!! Ughh!! BUT!!! After tomorrow's quiz, we're gonna relax and enjoy our day out. =)

Missing him sooo much. He always put a smile on my face.

Love you sweetie.
Lots.
Muacks!

Yayyy!!! I've got bursaries again!!! 2nd time in a row for the bursary from NTU and also bursaries from mommy's company. ^_^

Gonna save up this amount of money to go on a graduation tour with Hubby!!!

Today marks our 1st year anniversary. Celebrated on last Saturday. C0z we have quizzes tomorrow!!! Ughh!! BUT!!! After tomorrow's quiz, we're gonna relax and enjoy our day out. =)

Missing him sooo much. He always put a smile on my face.

Love you sweetie.
Lots.
Muacks!

I'm tired.

Tired from the impending amount of work awaiting.

All the lectures and meeting of projects datelines.

I just wish to stop at my track.

But I'm given no choice.

To make things worse, frequent quarrels and arguments arise.

Endless waves of disappointments.

I just want to have a break from the lifestyle I'm having.

I'm disappointed in everything.

Including him.

No longer feel that he is who he was.

Having second thoughts about him.

People change.

I have changed too, probably.

I just want to be alone.

Away from all the datelines, away from him.

Alright guys, suddenly have a rush to write a blog about a story I'm ponding and believing it for a year.

This is dedicated to the male and female lead, as this story only tells once, and it will be buried.

Once upon a time, there's this gal, her name is frog face aka froggy. She met some downhill at her previous job and she decided to leave for her dignity and shall not stay there for good.

During the period, froggy was quite alone with a little friend and she do part time as well at a club as banquet waitress. She is very good with her "Shifu" and got together, her bf, blackie is not the main lead cause he disappear in two weeks time.

Nevertheless, Froggy continue perservere to find job, criteria of the job no paper and able to run around. She got enlighten by one of her friend who is working at Le'Meridian to hunt for Front Desk Job.

So she happily hunt for the position, due to her efficiency, she nail down a reception job at the overseas, Sentosa, and met her long long cousin Frog Face 2 aka long froggy. There she starts to have her adventure with her team, Penguine, cleopatra, Vampire, ET, Meatball aka Garfield, Bunny, Princess, Police, Suzzy, Moo and Chou Chou...

Actually, the above is not very important, she never knew that after one year of bumping around, she starts to have chemistry with Meatball. Although Meatball and Froggy don't look alike, but people still find similarities about them.

They like to see Meatball which reminds them of Froggy in pants, they like to see Froggy cause its Meatball in skirts. It thrills the both of them about the idea, and being the childish one, Froggy look upon Meatball as her twins. She starts to see if they are telepathy, encourage him, and trying to do things that are very twin.

They quarrell, irritate each other, imitate each other, tease each other, help each other, cover up each other, thus the chemistry is there.

Sooner or later, things starts to be different. Meatball starts to be really irritating, always angry at Froggy for no reason, this push Froggy to be very close with Vampire. However due to the chemistry and wavelength, they still have the frequency there.

Then, it comes department BBQ and all of the team decided to go clubbing after BBQ. Froggy's a very neutral person who is very very good to everyone, which is not very good. After that night, Meatball starts to be very strange, and to Froggy it seems to be a mood call jealousy. However Meatball denied, and Froggy feel that she think too much.

Soon after a few days, they chat on msn, (computer is very common in fairy tale and so is MSN).
Meatball confess that he likes Froggy, however they have someone in between that he have to face. Meatball says he will and Froggy believe, and there it goes their enchanting journey.

They meet each everyday like they can't be together the next day, sharing everything is what they always enjoying to do, exploring each other interest and standing up for each other. This is their lovable honeymoon.

However, Froggy do have her pain, as Meatball did not come face to face with the in between, Froggy have to tolerate the 4 months of in between and have to lied to in between for 2 times which makes her guilty and wanna give up. However, when she decideds to give up, Meatball face to face with in between and there is no inbetween, Froggy decides to believe Meatball again and she swallow her words in.

Then they starts their life together once again, one thing very blessing is that they hardly quarrell cause they are too alike and know how each other will react. Froggy wont quarrell with Meaty cause he once said that when he thought of her not talking to him, he teared. Still knowing each other too well will starts to think too much, and in the end you might not know each other at all.

Day after Day, froggy becomes more and more in love with Meaty, He sings for her, cook for her, take care of her, think of her, they share their music, their life.

Froggy is very in love with Meaty playing guitar, performing or jamming session, when he is playing, when he is serious and when he is worried about her.

She is very touch that he is very worried that she is being bullied at new workplace, and cause she can feels his worried, she decides to be stronger.

However, when things are seems to settle down, it takes a turn. Once a saying when it happen too fast, it will end fast also.

After meaty come back from his hometown, he is troubled and starts to ignore Froggy. Giving him benefits of the doubt is very important and she do not want to think too much. Froggy starts to be blind and ignorant to the fact very obvious, the end is coming.

Froggy becomes very not her, she is insecure, alone, and she keeps things to herself. She do not wants to bring it up cause she do not wants to upset meaty as well. She becomes very sad that meaty have his own circle of friends and she can really see the piority. Things starts to drift, she starts to have the courage of reasoning and arguing. Meaty of cause will give his argument as well.

Whatever should end should end, they lost the chemistry, they lost the sparks, they lost their frequency and Froggy still naively believe that it is just her thinking too much.

Her birthday arrive, and Meaty did a very sweet thing. He called her at 2350hrs and chat til 1200hrs as he do not want her line to be engage by others. This is the sweetest birthday Froggy ever receive even if it is just 10 minutes.

Sweetest things always don't last, beautiful things always don't last as well.

Three days later, she lost her precious phone, two days after the phone is lost, he left her.

"We will have no ending"
"I always wanted to go meet other girls but I felt guilty cause of you"
"I want my singlehood"

Intially she persist in salvaging, but the words that he says cuts in more and more deep.

She knows that he do not love her anymore, he uses time to stop loving her and finally he left her. Unknowing of the storm, unprepared, she cannot take it. Although she is cool finally, saying their last goodbyes and wishes, she is not stable.

Lost her phone, no one to turn to in the middle of the night, all she remember is his number.

She sat there quietly, drawing her own circle around her, building a boundary around her, started to wear a facade around her.

She is a very sensible girl who do not mix work and her life together, so she have to wear her facade everyday, meeting her friend who care for her to cheer her up everyday. Maybe its because, it cuts too deep, it is not pain.

Hearing things that have hurt her and trigger her imagination, she still naively believe him and find reason for him to make her feel better. Anyway knowing the truth isn't any much better it might be ugly, the reality is this he have left her, and might be for the better.

She isn't what he wanted.

Until when she saw him at his birthday party, when she saw his carefree the reality starts to bang in. She is so fragile but she is not going to collapse. She have to prove that she can make it as well so that he wont feel that she is weak.

Now its been 5 months, Froggy is still doing well, tearing in the blanket time to time. However, she now stand strong, putting everything behind, looking forward to her million of possibilities.

Keeping the good memories with her, and buried the bad ones. She is a brand new person once again and she surely will.

Hmm, what a lame story. Crap you read til the end. Come on, it is just a piece of lousy story I wrote.... But.... it is significant...